In Money Heist, Detective Murrilo uses two ineffective styles of negotiation. Aggressive and passive.
Passive negotiators avoid conflict. They give in. Friendly solutions only. Often they are taken advantage of and left feeling unhappy.
Aggressive negotiators view it as a battle to be won. They tire themselves out , win at all costs and harm their relationship with the other party.
Teachers negotiate every day. Most of us make the same mistakes. We assume there are only 2 styles. While Aggressive and Passive are different systems both have the same result. There are only losers.
Your best alternative to a negotiated agreement (BATNA) is an optional track. The ticket out of the escape room.
Here is how you can find your BATNA and combine it with your new negotiation system 👇
Take the elevator
Control your emotions.You have no power over the other person. Avoid confrontation. By taking the elevator you are stepping out of the tension. Empower yourself. Use this time to think about your BATNA.
Identifying your BATNA
List everything you will do if no agreement is made. For example you want your colleague to stop undermining you and disrespecting your work. What actions will you take if they do not agree to end it?
Pick the best ideas and make them into straight forward options.
Choose the greatest as your BATNA.
Coffee and Cake at the lake
Negotiation needs to take place in a calm environment. Both parties must feel safe. They will expect an attack. Listen instead. Give back points you agree on in your own words. Respect their life experience. Join them on their side of the lake.
Revisit the problem in different ways
The person may say something that you feel obliged to call out. This will cause more arguments. Use what was said and deconstruct it with questioning. “What would you do in my position?”. “What do you think would happen if…?”. This system prevents you from telling the person what to do. Instead they will arrive at the answer themselves.
Build them a boat to cross the river
Negotiation can begin. You may experience resistance. Do not try to push your idea through. Be unpredictable once again. Lead them where you want them to go. Make them an active influence in the process. Use their ideas. Build the answer with their idea blocks. Let them appear the victor.
No Threats instead give information
Still no luck? You must make no difficult to say. Do not use threats as the situation will deteriorate into an argument. Let the person know what is at stake if you do not agree.
Ask questions that demonstrate how things will turn out.
In the case of the colleague undermining you. The working environment will become unbearable for both of you. Daily anxiety for each member of staff. The students will lose out too.
Do not forget your BATNA either. Only use it if you have to. When you use it,do so calmly. Repeating that you only wish for mutual agreement. You are not here to win.
Detective Murrilo was not ready for The Professor. She did not know her BATNA. If we are not prepared for negotiation we will struggle too.
As Pon Staff says “Winging it” is a fine approach to life’s minor decisions, but when you negotiate, it can be disastrous “. Find your BATNA, use the system and bring calm to your working enviorment.